Bathing Suits

So what's your least favorite article of clothing to shop for? Mine would hand's down be bathing suits. Three years ago I wouldn't even try on suits, I would go online, find something I didn't hate too much and order it in the size I wore (size 24).

This year for the first time I tried something new. I went to Kohl's and actually picked a bunch of bathing suits to try on. I wasn't expecting much, I figured it would be like most bathing suit experiences, I'd cry when I tried on most of them and settle for the one that didn't make me want to climb to the roof of the building and jump. I was pleasantly surprised. Some of the suits made me laugh, because they just didn't fit right, but none made me cry. The last one I tried on actually made me smile. No, I did not suddenly have the perfect body but I felt good in that bathing suit even with jiggly thighs. I even stepped out of the dressing room so the friend I was shopping with could see me.

I am going to take a giant step outside of my comfort zone right now and share the bathing suit with anyone who reads or stumbles upon this post.

Do I look like a super model? Nope. Do I care? NOPE! I've worked hard in the last two and a half and I am going to feel good about that. I would love to tell you I look at this picture and see a huge change, but I'm not there in this journey yet. I know my body has changed, but I still rely on other people to see the changes for me. I KNOW my body has changed, the bathing suit is a size 14, but I don't see it. It's all right, someday I will see the changes and if I never do that's okay. There are changes.

You know me, I like comparisons so I went hunting through my photos to find an older picture of me in a swimsuit. There weren't many, I have quite a knack for being absent when cameras come out. I'm not a fan of pictures, but I did find a picture of me in a swimsuit taken in July 2011 when I was on vacation with my family in Bath, Maine. I thought I'd share it with all of you as well. Here goes nothing.

I like my hair that length. My hair dresser won't necessarily be thrilled to hear it, but I think I want to go back to longer hair. Notice I'm not saying anything negative about the picture. I have a million negative comments running through my head and I refuse to give voice to any of them.

Thanks for reading.