Blessings

On Sunday I will be facing down another fear. I will be competing in the Spartan Sprint race. According to the Spartan site it is "4+ miles and 15+ obstacles". Did I also mention it is at another ski mountain? Killington to be exact. I keep telling myself it would be nice to complete one of these obstacle course races on a flat course. I keep saying it and I continue to sign up for races at ski mountains. Somehow I am NOT getting the message to the proper synapses. I'd like to note that I am also signing up for Tough Mudder New England 2015 at Mount Snow. I should probably just give up and embrace my love/hate relationship with mountains. Besides, it gives me something to whine about.

My goal for the Spartan Sprint is to finish the race and be an asset to my team. I am not too proud to admit I am terrified. Every time I think about what Sunday could hold I feel sick to my stomach. A wiser person than me might decide that the nausea is a sign that the Spartan Sprint is not for them at this point in time. I feel the nausea and decide I'm all in. I won't be the first to finish, but I will finish. It really is true that wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. At 44 I have accepted that age is coming, but wisdom gave up a long time ago and left. It's okay...I have more than enough stubbornness to make up for the lack of wisdom.

So why continue to do things that scare me? No, it isn't because being nauseous is an excellent way to control my weight, though it is. It also isn't just that I am a glutton for punishment, though that's true as well. The real reason I am committed to do things that are outside my comfort zone is that this is my life, my ONLY life and I am determined to live it to the fullest. I spent too many years trying to creep through life being safe. No more, I really wasn't called to be a wallflower. Yes I run the risk of looking foolish, but I would rather look foolish than live a life that is bland, blah and boring.

I have been blessed with a mile-wide stubborn streak. Just ask my mother how stubborn I am. She had to raise me after all and I'm sure there were moments she wanted to trade me in. I'm not outgoing or loud, but when I set my mind to something I dig in my heels and I don't budge until I am good and ready. I am not a quitter, even when quitting might be the wisest course of action.

I'd like to think I have a good heart to go along with that stubborn streak. I want to make things easier for people around me if it is within my capability. I can also fall into the trap of people pleasing which isn't helpful for anyone.

I titled this blog post "Blessings" and I have yet to really get to the point. Thank you if you have plowed through to this point. I'm getting to the point, slowly, but I'm getting there.

What are my blessings?

1. My family: My mom and sister believe in me. They might not understand me, but they believe I can and will do whatever I set my mind to.

2. My friends: I have had the best adventures with my friends...I am looking forward to many, many more (and Eric I am holding you to the promise to let me do my Tough Mudder 2015 Warrior Carry with you. Oh and Ben...I will push you on the prowler someday: I will make a special trip for that to happen).

3. My job: Yes, you read right. My job is a blessing. Not every second of every day, but I LOVE what I do. It is never dull, never boring and never the same from one day to the next.

4. My fitness professionals: I consider them my friends as well, but they really do deserve their own mention. They all helped me see that deep inside the part of me that wanted to slink through life keeping to the shadows and being safe, there was a fighter who wanted out. They gave me the tools to make my fitness dreams come true.

5. Abbey: How could a dog who thinks you are the best part of her world not be a blessing? No matter how I feel Abbey is always happy to see me. She encourages me to walk one more mile or play one more game of tag and sometimes she even enjoys snuggling in bed at 5 am.

6. Eeyore and Gizmo: My cats. My furry, naughty boys. Eeyore's 2 am visits because he can't go one more second with being petted and Gizmo's habit of curling himself against my hip as I drift off to sleep make me melt. Okay, sometimes Eeyore's 2 am visits make me crazy, but I love my furry boys.

I am blessed beyond measure and I could spend much longer listing everything I am grateful for. Three of my blessings would like my attention though and all of them are more than capable of pushing my laptop to the floor to get my attention if they must.

I hope you ponder your own blessings.

Thanks for reading.