Detours

Have you ever noticed that life doesn't move in a straight line? I can't be the only one who maps out a course and then discovers their map would be more useful folded up as a fan. I've been off on a detour for the past few months, but I finally think I turned a corner, or crawled out of the muck or just got tired of whining, pulled up my big girl pants and soldiered on. I'm pretty sure it's that last one, but I digress.

So here I am, back on the path I wanted to be on in the first place. It's good to be back. As a friend said recently: I came to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I'm all out of bubble gum. Thank you for that belly laugh Eric, you are awesome.

Life is so much easier when you stop hunching your shoulders up around your ears and waiting for the next awful thing to happen. I did know that before, but I am still human. I fall down and wallow in the muck.

It occurred to me on Monday after a meeting that renewed my faith in some people in positions of power, that acting like a whipped puppy just isn't who I am. Feeling down is a part of life, it happens. Choosing to act as if nothing would ever be all right again takes too much time and energy. Yes I do know that my brain chemistry predisposes me to depression. I also know that "wiring" is not my fault and nothing I am or should be ashamed of.

What I forgot in the midst of all that I know is that the best way for me to fight back and stay on an even keel is to move my body. Be it group fit, yoga corr, all star workout or long walks with Abbey moving keeps me sane and happy. The problem with wallowing in the muck is that I forgot that. I decided it didn't matter and I could skip whatever I wanted and it wouldn't matter.

Fortunately I got my head out of my butt before any permanent damage could be done. Workouts are much easier when you just throw yourself in heart and soul. Okay, maybe Black Crow isn't any easier, but other things are easier. Except for Figure 8 Bear Crawls, Hang Tucks...I should probably quit while I'm ahead.

For the first time in months I went to Group Fit this morning feeling like a warrior. I was ready to excel where I could and give it my all where I couldn't excel. Darn good thing there was no pole holding those cones down during the figure 8 bear crawls, I would have impaled myself a dozen times. The highlight of  "Lung Blower"? Bar none when Tyler stepped on the prowler. Oh yeah!!

It wasn't that none of my workouts have been good since I started hanging out in the muck. I have had my moments: box jumps on Saturday, October 25 were a high point and reawakened the part of me that doesn't back down from a fight. I got a fist bump for those. Best part was when I was told to step up to the stack of mats and there was no fear. Curiosity and wondering if I could do it with good form, but not a bit of fear.

So now I'm back...I have some lost ground to regain since I took my detour, but that's not a problem. I'm in this for the long haul: I'll fight back to where I was. I've been a "mooser", I've been a badass (I think I still am...I feel like one anyway) and now I'm a part of the PRIDE. Most of all: I am ME.

It's good to be back. Maybe my next post can be entertaining. You could always hope!

Thanks for reading.