When I returned to college at 25 and put myself through Lyndon State to earn my teaching degree in Special Education. Then again in 2010 when I decided I wanted a Master's degree and chose The Vermont Mathematics Initiative. During each of those experiences I reached a crossroads and had to decide if I wanted to continue. I have been teaching for 15 years and I earned my Master's Degree in 2013. I am not a quitter, I never have been. I might go down, but I won't stay down.
I reached the place this year in my journey where I faced the crossroad. I was on a steep downward spiral and I honestly didn't care if I stopped or hit rock bottom. I got kicked down repeatedly during the spring, summer and fall. I'd get up after a blow and another would come. At times it truly seemed like I was supposed to just stay down so I did. I crawled into a hole, pulled a rock on top of me and closed out the world. I decided I wasn't taking any more chances, no more letting people in and I was done trying anything new. I kept working out, but there was no joy in it at all. I didn't care if I did well, I didn't care if I failed: I did it because it was a habit and it was what was expected of me. If nothing else I do what is expected.
It wasn't just one thing that turned the downward spiral around. There were many things, not the least of which was a conversation during buddy training one evening. It was a quarterly check-in to see how I was doing and what I liked and didn't about my program. I heard myself during that talk and I hated what I heard. I heard a whiner. I'm not a whiner, but you'd never know it from what I said that night.
I left buddy training disgusted and angry and determined to change things. If the only reason I was showing up at the studio was because it was a habit then I was doing myself and everyone there a disservice. My instructor deserved better than that. He puts his heart and soul into everything he does: if I was there only because it was habit then I decided I wasn't going back.
As you might have guessed I found my motivation. I am wiser, a little sadder, much more guarded and closed and more determined than ever. This isn't just a side trip: this is MY LIFE. I've said it before, so I won't harp on it.
At the moment I am nursing a bruised meniscus in my left knee. I had noticed my knee was a bit sore, but didn't think much of it. During my semi-annual physical on Friday I mentioned it to my doctor. She did some poking and prodding and I tried to slide off the table a couple of times. She asked if the knee locked up or gave out on me. Nope. She said her best diagnosis was I had bruised my meniscus and I needed to give running and jumping a rest for awhile.
So I am mostly following doctor's orders. I did do three broad jumps during the warm-up this morning, but that was all. I don't want to be dumb and wind up sidelined. I'd rather take it easy on my knee for the moment.
I was worried for about half a second my workouts wouldn't be as intense if I didn't run or jump. Let me assure you: I am getting excellent workouts that leave me winded and ready to crawl back into bed. Okay, so there have only been two workouts this week, but I'm still feeling those lateral lunges from Monday and the Barbell Kneeling Landmines from this morning.
Allow me one small tangent to report that I have FINALLY figured out how to do a lateral lunge properly. My first attempts were amusing and there was a lot of coaching involved to get me to a point where I could do one the first time I tried.
My high point so far this week was prowler pushes this morning. I love them anyway, but when Tyler stands on the prowler and says "Take me for a ride" I want to run. One of these days I will surprise him and run. Mostly because that means he'll up the weight for the next round. So far the most weight I have pushed with the prowler is 732 pounds. I'm going to smash that record at some point.
It's only Wednesday and I have buddy training and Saturday Morning Sweat still to come, so I'll be ending this now. I'm sure I will have more to say before the week is over.
I am committed to my health, committed to this journey and excited to see where the path leads next. Bring it on! I'm not perfect, I am for sure not graceful: but I'm strong. Much stronger than some people give me credit for. I might not accomplish things some consider worthwhile, but if I've learned one thing on my journey it's that I am NOT the center of the universe and thinking I am will only make me and everyone around me miserable.
Thanks for reading!
I left buddy training disgusted and angry and determined to change things. If the only reason I was showing up at the studio was because it was a habit then I was doing myself and everyone there a disservice. My instructor deserved better than that. He puts his heart and soul into everything he does: if I was there only because it was habit then I decided I wasn't going back.
As you might have guessed I found my motivation. I am wiser, a little sadder, much more guarded and closed and more determined than ever. This isn't just a side trip: this is MY LIFE. I've said it before, so I won't harp on it.
At the moment I am nursing a bruised meniscus in my left knee. I had noticed my knee was a bit sore, but didn't think much of it. During my semi-annual physical on Friday I mentioned it to my doctor. She did some poking and prodding and I tried to slide off the table a couple of times. She asked if the knee locked up or gave out on me. Nope. She said her best diagnosis was I had bruised my meniscus and I needed to give running and jumping a rest for awhile.
So I am mostly following doctor's orders. I did do three broad jumps during the warm-up this morning, but that was all. I don't want to be dumb and wind up sidelined. I'd rather take it easy on my knee for the moment.
I was worried for about half a second my workouts wouldn't be as intense if I didn't run or jump. Let me assure you: I am getting excellent workouts that leave me winded and ready to crawl back into bed. Okay, so there have only been two workouts this week, but I'm still feeling those lateral lunges from Monday and the Barbell Kneeling Landmines from this morning.
Allow me one small tangent to report that I have FINALLY figured out how to do a lateral lunge properly. My first attempts were amusing and there was a lot of coaching involved to get me to a point where I could do one the first time I tried.
My high point so far this week was prowler pushes this morning. I love them anyway, but when Tyler stands on the prowler and says "Take me for a ride" I want to run. One of these days I will surprise him and run. Mostly because that means he'll up the weight for the next round. So far the most weight I have pushed with the prowler is 732 pounds. I'm going to smash that record at some point.
It's only Wednesday and I have buddy training and Saturday Morning Sweat still to come, so I'll be ending this now. I'm sure I will have more to say before the week is over.
I am committed to my health, committed to this journey and excited to see where the path leads next. Bring it on! I'm not perfect, I am for sure not graceful: but I'm strong. Much stronger than some people give me credit for. I might not accomplish things some consider worthwhile, but if I've learned one thing on my journey it's that I am NOT the center of the universe and thinking I am will only make me and everyone around me miserable.
Thanks for reading!
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