Grateful

I tend to be one of those people who thanks everyone for everything. It's just who I am: if you've done something I appreciated I want to let you know. I worry sometimes that people might think I'm just sucking up to them, or I don't really mean it or that I am working too hard to make them like me.

Let me assure any of you reading this that I am NOT sucking up. I don't believe in doing that. I DO want people to like me, but in my 45 years I have figured out I can't make that happen. Some people will like me, others will tolerate me and some people will downright hate me. I am me, the only person I can be.

So why do I thank people? Life is short, I don't know what will happen tomorrow or two hours from now and I want to be sure that those I appreciate know I feel that way. I lost my stepfather in 2007 and though I spent a good deal of time with him there were still some things that I didn't say before the end. I can't change that now, it's too late. I made myself a promise then that moving forward I would be sure to say what I needed to say.

It gets a little complicated because I'm shy and quiet, so sometimes instead of saying what I feel I email. There is nothing wrong with email, I'm not saying that, but I am working on actually speaking when I have something to say. Don't expect an overnight change...this is a slow process and I'm a stubborn person.

The people I thank most regularly are the fitness professionals in my life. They have pushed me, believed in me, encouraged me, talked me off the edge, reminded me I can't be the best all the time, been proud of me (I hope that at least), gone the extra mile to make sure I accomplished what they knew I could and have never told me to buzz off. I'd say that never telling me to get lost should get them all nominated for sainthood.

I don't know if you knew this about me, but I perseverate on things...and I restate the obvious  A LOT. Seriously, if you've known me for longer than five minutes you know full well that I can get "stuck" on anything. Another item on my "Work on This" list is learning to let things go. I hope I'm going to live to be about 900 years old...it's going to take at least that long to work on all the items on my list.

I'm not sure any of the fitness professionals I know are going to appreciate this, but I have some things I'd like to specifically say to each of them and I'm doing it in this public forum. Sorry guys...if you ask nicely and promise me tire flips I might consider taking this down...maybe.

Why this post and why now? I am starting my sixteenth year of teaching and yesterday I met with a parent whom I worked with about four years ago. She told me how happy she was I was her child's case manager because I was good. I've been thinking about it ever since and realized that as a teacher I don't always hear the positives and how nice it felt to know I was appreciated. So Ben, Mary and Tyler it's time I make sure you know how appreciated you are.

Yes, I'm going to get sappy and mushy. Not nearly as sappy or mushy as I want to be, because frankly I don't have the words to really express what I feel, but I'll give it my best shot.

1) Ben,

You gave me my start. You always tell me you provided the information and I took it and ran with it. Maybe so, but without your belief in me from the beginning I don't know that I could have run with anything. I was depressed, angry, hurt, scared and done with it all. You let me be myself and you worked with what I gave you.

As I learned more and got more comfortable you upped the ante, but made it clear all you wanted was my best. You showed me I was strong and kindled my passion for deadlifts, the prowler and my all-time favorite: tire flips.

I hope when you look at what I've done and continue to do you feel satisfied that your time, effort, energy and caring were well spent. I hope you are proud and realize what a monumental difference you made in my life.

2) Mary,

I met you not long after I met Ben and to be honest at first I wasn't sure I would like you. I now know I don't just like you: I adore you. You have given me great advice when I have asked, which I don't tend to do often enough. You are kind, compassionate and you pushed me to be the best I could be. I haven't had a chance to workout with you in a long while due to a crazy schedule and life, but there will be a time I show up again. Thank you so much for being the right blend of tough and kind.

3) Tyler,

Truly I don't have the words I want to tell you how much your coaching has meant. You have NEVER given up on me and I've given you plenty of opportunity to do so. I'll never forget our first conversation after the sale was announced. You asked me to do two things for you: Give you a chance and be honest. I must have looked as scared as I felt inside because what you said was exactly the right thing.

You have a true gift for knowing the right thing to say at the right time. You have gotten me to step back and think or dig deep and fight harder more times than I can count. When I want to give up you are always right there. There are times I despise you for that, but mostly I am so unbelievably grateful. I asked you to help me work on my fear of box jumps and jumping over things and you did so. When I was too anxious to jump on the picnic table or the tire you didn't berate me or tell me to do it: you gave me a regression. I guess you knew that eventually my own stubborn competitive nature was going to push me to get it done and I did.

It never ceases to amaze me that you know when to push me and when to back off and leave me alone. I can never thank you enough for the coaching, the advice and that you are willing to just listen to me when I need to vent.


To all of you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for turning a 309 pound, scared and angry woman into a badass athlete. Please know that you have my deepest appreciation and you should each feel proud of my accomplishments because you were all instrumental in helping me get where I am. 

So there you have it. Public thanks which I could have just sent privately to each person. I have done that though and this time it was important enough to me that I wanted it in a more public forum. The people I addressed are all somewhat private, so if they ask I will remove this post. I want to express my appreciation and gratitude, but I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable. Except me, I need to feel uncomfortable to grow.

Thanks for reading!