Sunday, October 25, 2015

Looking for Trouble

How many of you reading this try to prepare yourself for new experiences by doing research? How many of you manage to find articles to read that don't make you  feel more prepared, just more panicked?

As most of you know...and have heard incessantly, my first powerlifting competition will be on Saturday, November 7. I alternate between thinking I'll be okay, it will be fine and wanting to run screaming.

Today I was reading an article titled Top 10 Mistakes Novice Lifters Make .  You might wonder what is wrong with me that I would go in search of an article like that. I didn't actually search out an article with that title. I was curious about how many people would be in a flight so I did a Google search. The first article in the list was the one I read. I will give the author, Matthew Gary, credit. He wasn't going for scaring people new to the sport and he pointed out that the mistakes were easily fixed and offered suggestions. If anyone else is interested the article was on the U.S.A. Powerlifting website. It was a great article, though I still don't know how many lifters could be in a flight. I suspect that depends on how many people are entered in the event. DUH...kind of common sense, huh?

Despite the title, reading the article was probably good for me. I was able to feel better because some of the things the author suggested are things my trainers already thought of.

I have a confession: the first time Tyler told me during Buddy Training that I would be working with Dane and Carole would be working with him I was a little upset. I didn't whine, but the whine was right on the tip of my tongue. Yet again I learned that my trainer is smarter than me and knows EXACTLY what he's doing. Number 2 on the list of mistakes that novices make was "not having any advice and/or assistance from a knowledgeable coach or lifter". Tyler solved that one for me: thank you, thank you, thank you.

Dane knows about lifting and after I got over my initial trepidation and tendency to view new people as a threat I found that I liked him. He doesn't think I'm nuts for being nervous, or at least he tells me I'm not nuts. He has also encouraged me to enter my first event, going as far as researching upcoming events that were relatively close. He and Tyler were at least as excited as me when I PR'ed on my Hex Bar deadlift with 405 pounds. There's something reassuring about feeling your coaches are proud of you and believe in you.

I believe I am as ready as I can be for November 7. That doesn't by any stretch mean that I am not nervous, it just means despite the butterflies waging war in my stomach and the overactive negative voice in my head I will walk into the event and do my very best.

Do I believe, as Dane seems to, that I am going to bring home some hardware from the event? I don't know. A part of me would love to bring home a trophy. Another part of me doesn't think it is even a remote possibility.

If I do wind up with hardware I don't plan for it to be in my home. I will ask Tyler if it can stay at Pride Fitness Performance. Not just because I spend more time there than I do at home, but honestly because I wouldn't be at this place if he hadn't believed in me, encouraged me and pushed me to look beyond what was comfortable and familiar. He and Dane have done their best to bolster my confidence and make sure I have the training I need to succeed. If I do succeed they will get as much credit as I can give: I wouldn't be here without them. End of story.
I just want to make people proud. I want to make ME proud. Feeling proud of myself is still new. Sometimes it feels selfish and just plain wrong to think of what I do well. I should be focused on my flaws, right?

I've spent most of my life being focused on my flaws and what I can't do. That hasn't gotten me anywhere and I'm willing to admit it isn't the right approach. I don't have the confidence in myself to think I will amaze anyone on November 7, but I think it's damned amazing I was able to fill out the application and mail it in. For now, that is all the amazing I need.

One small step at a time I am becoming the person I have always been inside. I am strong. I will be proud. I will have confidence in my smarts and my strength.

Thanks for reading!




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