So I'll start with this. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to Tyler, Kayla, Dane, Jen, Nikki, Carole, Sylvie, Lisa, Eric, Hailey, Ami, Cheryl, Gretchen, Ben, Nedah, Jackie Z., Jackie B., Jennifer, Tom and Heather for trekking to Burlington to watch me compete. I hope I didn't forget anyone, if I did please know it is not intentional. You are all my heroes, my inspiration and the best friends I could ever wish for. Thank you to Vermont Powerlifting for making this rank newbie feel comfortable.
Prior to that I was just plain terrified. I was on the verge of tears, nauseated and, in my mind at least, completely out of my league. I got an email from my coach after I'd checked in and changed and it was all I could do not to lose it. He said some wonderfully kind things, and the killer "We're almost there." Such a simple sentence to provoke tears. Then while the meet director was going over the rules I saw more of my friends coming in, including my first coach and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying again.
My opening squat was not pretty, by the way. The judge needed to remind me to step back out of the rack before I nodded. I forgot to keep my eyes up and my hands were shaking even while they were wrapped around the barbell. I finally got it together enough to step back, nod and get the squat command.
Once I squatted it clicked. I swear I heard a click, maybe it was just my creaky left knee protesting. I was still nervous, but less so. It wasn't much different than squatting in the weight cave at Pride. Dane and Tyler were close by watching, studying my form and when I racked the bar I got a high five and a fist bump. Maybe I could do this after all.
My second and third rounds I felt less nervous. My hands weren't shaking anyway, though my stomach was still rolling unpleasantly. I got a PR on my last round. 259 pounds, thank you very much. I was hooked from that moment.
The bench press was my second event. No PR there, but I knew that going in. Dane and I had already discussed it. He and Tyler still coached and supported, but there was no pressure. Rounds 2 and 3 were much easier after I was reminded to keep my elbows in so there was less pressure on my still cranky shoulder.
The last event was my favorite, the one I'd been waiting for all day: deadlift. Dane and Tyler made sure I was warmed up and pumped. My opening round was the heaviest in my flight (295 pounds) and I continued that trend with Round 2 (325 pounds) and Round 3. Round 3 was a PR, 352.74 pounds. If I hadn't been hooked before I would have been at that moment.
My friends, the people who took an entire day of their lives to be there for me were amazing. Every time my name was announced they cheered loudly. I emailed the meet director today to thank him for making my first event painless. He emailed back to thank me for my bravery and for my team. According to him we made the meet. In my eyes: my friends made the meet.
I was there doing my job, doing what I love. My friends were extraordinary. One of them called me a super hero. I wasn't the super hero: they were the super heroes. They cheered for me every time like I was the best thing ever. I got so many hugs, fist bumps and high fives it was amazing.
All those blue t-shirts, even with my glasses off and no contacts in I saw those t-shirts and it made me determined to succeed. I wasn't going to let all those wonderful people down.
I learned a lot yesterday. I learned that the negative voice in my head is nothing compared to the cheers and support of my friends. I discovered that I am strong and I can take care of myself. I discovered that I am proud of the person I have become. I have worked hard, fought tooth and nail, sweated, cried, bled, ached and never quit. I am proud of this woman I have blossomed into. She is smart, she is strong, she is amazing.
Please don't think I will now be trumpeting my successes from the rooftops. I am proud of myself, but I know my own worth without feeling I have to make everyone else aware of it. I'm a private person despite this blog.
I didn't go into the meet thinking I would bring anything home, except a few bruises from pulling the bar up my shins during the deadlift. Dane told me from the beginning I'd be bringing home some hardware. Turns out he was right: I took first place for women's powerlifting, age 45-49. The trophy is fabulous and will be taking up residence at Pride Fitness Performance after I show it to a few colleagues. I am so proud of what I did, but as I said before: I would not be here now without the training I received. For that reason I think it is fitting and right that my first trophy be in my happy place, the place I first felt proud of myself and the place I will keep going to become better and stronger.
Thanks so much for reading!
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