Yeah, I'm one big bundle of crazy. Aren't you feeling lucky to know me?
I had my annual physical last Monday. I was down 10 pounds from last November, I am developing more muscle and I was told my achy knee was probably tendonitis. Nothing serious, but to heal I need rest and I'll be doing a little physical therapy. Not the end of the world right?
I can't say I was surprised. I know I've been pushing too hard, 6 workouts in a week is a lot and probably too many when I'm being honest with myself.
So I did what I do: I went to the professionals in my life for advice. I was reminded that there has to be a balance between workouts, refueling and recovery. They should all be equal, because all are equally important. The professional I talked with is honest to a fault, which I truly appreciate. When I need a reality check he's the guy to go to and he gave me one last week. I need to remember not to do it in email though, you can't hear the tone being used or see the body language. You see where this is headed don't you?
Yeah, surprisingly enough I worried I'd screwed up and disappointed the professional I was talking to. I would like to point out, now that I've drifted back into the land of sane and rational, that he NEVER said he was disappointed, just reminded me of what he's been trying to teach me for awhile now. Luckily instead of going completely off the deep end I had the sense to email back with a few fears, get assurance that we could talk during buddy training and walk away.
I would like to take this time to thank my sounding boards Hailey and Eric: I mentioned them in my last post and I owe them more thanks now. What can I say: as much as I've grown and changed sometimes I still need people to bounce my thoughts and feelings off. Both assured me if the professional was pissed at me I would have known it and there was a chance I was projecting my own feelings onto an innocent party who really wants to see me succeed and be happy.
Again...I am a HUGE bundle of crazy.
So Thursday came and it was time for buddy training. I briefly considered completely chickening out and staying home. Like that was going to work, the part of me that lives for each workout was already chomping at the bit after not going to Muscle Hour on Wednesday night. Plus, I knew deep in my heart Hailey and Eric were right: the disappointment was mine and mine alone. So I pulled up my big girl panties and I went.
I arrived first and considered hiding under the bench until my buddy showed up, or maybe locking myself in the bathroom. Yeah, not much has changed in my ability to converse with people. I get tongue tied, flustered and generally stumble over my words and I was really kind of worried there would be tears on my part. Fortunately, he is a wise man and he let me go about my routine and have my space.
Once my buddy arrived and we were on the assault bikes warming up the conversation started. I asked for his help to think about my workouts in an objective manner, because to me all were the most important. He made suggestions, asked a few questions to get me thinking and didn't seem to mind when I stumbled over my words and got quiet. We all talked about nutrition and he gave Carole and I a mini challenge to follow until our next buddy training session. Basically we eat what he told us for breakfast and lunch and then we're on our own from 1 pm on. Okay, that sounded doable. It has been doable really. I eat my breakfast, run around like a crazy woman and next thing I know it's lunch time.
So what have I learned over the course of the last week?
1. I am not invincible. Stronger, yes. Even wiser on occasion, but not invincible. My body will keep going when I push it, but eventually it will demand my attention.
2. I won't be the best at everything. This is the hardest one for me. I feel like I'm letting people down if I am not the best. Like somehow if I don't shine every second I am not a good representative of Pride Fitness Performance. Let's get real: I WON'T be the best. I CAN'T be the best. What I can be is determined to try and give every workout my very best effort.
3. I can't do it all. Actually, I owe this one to my coach. He reminded me of this on Monday morning when I stayed after class to talk to him a bit about the decisions I'd come to over the weekend. He's right though: I shouldn't expect to do it all. I found my niche, now I need to keep training my weaknesses.
4. I have the most amazing friends. When I am ready to fly off the handle and let loose every bit of crazy I possess they can reel me and remind me of the truth. They even do it without telling me how crazy I am acting. I owe them for that.
I have plans for 2016. I want to be a better friend, paying the kindness I have been shown forward. I want to see just how strong I am and compete in more powerlifting meets. I am going to get up that rope before the end of 2016...and I won't put any holes in the walls to get there. I am going to be the best teacher I can be.
I'm going to leave you with my favorite picture from my first foray into powerlifting. Maybe it's not the most attractive picture ever, but I can see the determination in my face and I love it. It makes me proud. I am strong and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
So I did what I do: I went to the professionals in my life for advice. I was reminded that there has to be a balance between workouts, refueling and recovery. They should all be equal, because all are equally important. The professional I talked with is honest to a fault, which I truly appreciate. When I need a reality check he's the guy to go to and he gave me one last week. I need to remember not to do it in email though, you can't hear the tone being used or see the body language. You see where this is headed don't you?
Yeah, surprisingly enough I worried I'd screwed up and disappointed the professional I was talking to. I would like to point out, now that I've drifted back into the land of sane and rational, that he NEVER said he was disappointed, just reminded me of what he's been trying to teach me for awhile now. Luckily instead of going completely off the deep end I had the sense to email back with a few fears, get assurance that we could talk during buddy training and walk away.
I would like to take this time to thank my sounding boards Hailey and Eric: I mentioned them in my last post and I owe them more thanks now. What can I say: as much as I've grown and changed sometimes I still need people to bounce my thoughts and feelings off. Both assured me if the professional was pissed at me I would have known it and there was a chance I was projecting my own feelings onto an innocent party who really wants to see me succeed and be happy.
Again...I am a HUGE bundle of crazy.
So Thursday came and it was time for buddy training. I briefly considered completely chickening out and staying home. Like that was going to work, the part of me that lives for each workout was already chomping at the bit after not going to Muscle Hour on Wednesday night. Plus, I knew deep in my heart Hailey and Eric were right: the disappointment was mine and mine alone. So I pulled up my big girl panties and I went.
I arrived first and considered hiding under the bench until my buddy showed up, or maybe locking myself in the bathroom. Yeah, not much has changed in my ability to converse with people. I get tongue tied, flustered and generally stumble over my words and I was really kind of worried there would be tears on my part. Fortunately, he is a wise man and he let me go about my routine and have my space.
Once my buddy arrived and we were on the assault bikes warming up the conversation started. I asked for his help to think about my workouts in an objective manner, because to me all were the most important. He made suggestions, asked a few questions to get me thinking and didn't seem to mind when I stumbled over my words and got quiet. We all talked about nutrition and he gave Carole and I a mini challenge to follow until our next buddy training session. Basically we eat what he told us for breakfast and lunch and then we're on our own from 1 pm on. Okay, that sounded doable. It has been doable really. I eat my breakfast, run around like a crazy woman and next thing I know it's lunch time.
So what have I learned over the course of the last week?
1. I am not invincible. Stronger, yes. Even wiser on occasion, but not invincible. My body will keep going when I push it, but eventually it will demand my attention.
2. I won't be the best at everything. This is the hardest one for me. I feel like I'm letting people down if I am not the best. Like somehow if I don't shine every second I am not a good representative of Pride Fitness Performance. Let's get real: I WON'T be the best. I CAN'T be the best. What I can be is determined to try and give every workout my very best effort.
3. I can't do it all. Actually, I owe this one to my coach. He reminded me of this on Monday morning when I stayed after class to talk to him a bit about the decisions I'd come to over the weekend. He's right though: I shouldn't expect to do it all. I found my niche, now I need to keep training my weaknesses.
4. I have the most amazing friends. When I am ready to fly off the handle and let loose every bit of crazy I possess they can reel me and remind me of the truth. They even do it without telling me how crazy I am acting. I owe them for that.
I have plans for 2016. I want to be a better friend, paying the kindness I have been shown forward. I want to see just how strong I am and compete in more powerlifting meets. I am going to get up that rope before the end of 2016...and I won't put any holes in the walls to get there. I am going to be the best teacher I can be.
I'm going to leave you with my favorite picture from my first foray into powerlifting. Maybe it's not the most attractive picture ever, but I can see the determination in my face and I love it. It makes me proud. I am strong and there is NOTHING wrong with that.
So there you have it: I am one big bundle of crazy and I AM strong. That's who I am and I celebrate the fact that despite the fear and anxiety I competed. I am proud of how far I've come in the past year.
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading!
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