I found this picture last night when I was going through my picture files making sure everything was backed up. You live through a few computers croaking on you in the middle of something and you learn to make sure files you'd like to keep are housed in more than one location. So it took me three times to learn this...sue me.
Now to get back to the point of this post. Most of you know I am super thankful to my coaches and I gush about them frequently. That isn't going to be changing, so stop hoping. Last night something struck me though. Yes I have had superb coaching and excellent training, I'll never deny that, but I decided to put what I learned to use. I decided what I was hearing and learning was important and would help me create the life I wanted. They worked hard (and continue to work hard) with me, but I put in hard work too. No amount of wanting to please my coaches is going to get me to hold a plank if I don't know doing so is going to make me better.
One of my coaches might have researched powerlifting meets to nudge me in the right direction, but he didn't fill out the application or mail it in for me. He made suggestions, told me I would do well at it, but he didn't make the final decision. My other coach told me something like powerlifting would be less scary than some of the other things I'd done because the skills required were skills that fell within my comfort zone. When it came down to it the final decision to show up and let people see who I was and what I could do was mine and mine alone. They could support, train and cheer me on, but neither of them could do it for me. They could want it for me, and I think they both did, but they couldn't make it happen: I had to do that.
The man who got me started on this journey has been telling me from the start that he provided the tools, but I chose to use them. He accepts my thanks, but brings it right back to his point: I did this work. I'm sure he wanted this for me all along, but he couldn't give it to me. I had to step up to the plate and commit with my whole heart.
Now to get back to the point of this post. Most of you know I am super thankful to my coaches and I gush about them frequently. That isn't going to be changing, so stop hoping. Last night something struck me though. Yes I have had superb coaching and excellent training, I'll never deny that, but I decided to put what I learned to use. I decided what I was hearing and learning was important and would help me create the life I wanted. They worked hard (and continue to work hard) with me, but I put in hard work too. No amount of wanting to please my coaches is going to get me to hold a plank if I don't know doing so is going to make me better.
One of my coaches might have researched powerlifting meets to nudge me in the right direction, but he didn't fill out the application or mail it in for me. He made suggestions, told me I would do well at it, but he didn't make the final decision. My other coach told me something like powerlifting would be less scary than some of the other things I'd done because the skills required were skills that fell within my comfort zone. When it came down to it the final decision to show up and let people see who I was and what I could do was mine and mine alone. They could support, train and cheer me on, but neither of them could do it for me. They could want it for me, and I think they both did, but they couldn't make it happen: I had to do that.
The man who got me started on this journey has been telling me from the start that he provided the tools, but I chose to use them. He accepts my thanks, but brings it right back to his point: I did this work. I'm sure he wanted this for me all along, but he couldn't give it to me. I had to step up to the plate and commit with my whole heart.
The picture at the beginning of this post made me pause last night. I LOVE all the pictures from Old School Iron Wars, but this one caught my attention in a big way. The woman in the picture looks proud. She looks strong. She looks like she knows she has worth and value. She looks like she finally got to the party where her friends have been waiting for her to arrive.
I never imagined in January 2012 that I would have a moment when I felt proud of myself. When I started this blog it was because mooser contestants before me had kept blogs and I like to write. I didn't think it would last much past the end of the contest. Here we are almost 4 years later and I'm still rambling on every chance I get.
To all my friends who've been at the party waiting for me to show up: I'm here. I made it. Let's do this!
I never imagined in January 2012 that I would have a moment when I felt proud of myself. When I started this blog it was because mooser contestants before me had kept blogs and I like to write. I didn't think it would last much past the end of the contest. Here we are almost 4 years later and I'm still rambling on every chance I get.
To all my friends who've been at the party waiting for me to show up: I'm here. I made it. Let's do this!
I thought that saying I was proud of myself would mean I was a diva or an egomaniac, but that won't happen unless I let it. I don't think for a second I am better than anyone else. I know I have as many weaknesses as I did before. I am learning that every one of us has strengths and weaknesses and I am no better nor any worse than anyone else who walks through the door at Pride Fitness Performance. Every one of us is important and special and I finally get it. I will always be grateful and thankful for my coaches and I will let them know it every chance I get. I teach, I know how nice it is to hear a thank you from time to time.
I am here now. I get it. I have every reason to be proud of the woman I am. I need to keep training and I will, but there is nothing wrong with knowing I am worthy, strong and that I have skills.
I. Am. Proud. Of. The. Woman. I. Am. (even when I can't get up the rope and ring the damn cowbell.)
Thanks for reading!
I am here now. I get it. I have every reason to be proud of the woman I am. I need to keep training and I will, but there is nothing wrong with knowing I am worthy, strong and that I have skills.
I. Am. Proud. Of. The. Woman. I. Am. (even when I can't get up the rope and ring the damn cowbell.)
Thanks for reading!
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